Maybe you’re like me. Maybe every day in some way you feel like a newly fallen turnip. A rookie. A beginner. A little wet behind the ears. When I had a baby, I glanced over my shoulder to discover regurgitated breast milk dripping down my back. That’s when everything — not just motherhood — seemed a little more important. A little more up in a ponytail. A little more up in the air.

Posts Tagged "Thing Two"

She’s Three. Help. Me.

Tonight Madeline snuggled with me on the couch 45 minutes after dinner. Still wearing her princess dress and fresh off a crying jag caused by a run-in with Drew, she was done with the day. So was I. After a 12-hour drive home the day before from Colorado, I was still feeling fuzzy, disembodied and…   read more

Princess and the Potty

Yesterday I received news you dream of hearing. It wasn’t that I had won the lottery, or that I had become fully hydrated without having to drink water, or that John Krasinski had become my fan on Facebook. It was that Madeline had gone pee-pee in the potty at preschool. It’s a first. For weeks,…   read more

Knee-Deep in Bloody Bonding

The worst thing Madeline can imagine in the entire universe, and then beyond to the universes outside of our known universe, and then on into oblivion, is hurting her knee. She hurt it once. Both knees, really. Fell BAM on the concrete driveway like a linebacker lunging (and missing) his target. The cold SLAP of…   read more

Do Zen and Pediatric Dentistry Go Together? A tale of Awestruck Angst.

If you were to tell me the activities on today’s agenda a week ago, I would have thought that Satan and his worst demons had collaborated on the itinerary. Dentist. Mall. Chuck-E-Cheese. Gordon leaving me at home with Both Things for a two-day conference. Laundry. Even just the first item, Dentist, would have been enough…   read more

What’s in A (Nick) Name? I Shudder to Think…

There was a time when I thought nicknames were limited to “Honey,” “Darlin’” (no g, ever), and “Sugar.” Those were the ones I heard my grandparents use the most, and it was sort of lovely to be lumped in with all the other Darlin’s in the family — that no matter who you were, you…   read more

Leaving The Things: Italy

When you read this, I will be in Italy. It sounds so strange to say, “I will be in Italy” because I’ve never said “I will be on the moon” before and yet, they both feel like the same thing. My in-laws (God love-em) are keeping Both Things for the 10 days we are gone,…   read more

For (or Against) the Birds

Last week Gordon and I were on the couch playing with Madeline when she started wiping my nose with a balled up Kleenex. She was precisely dabbing each nostril like she was British, or like I was British, or like we both were British. “She’s so motherly,” remarked Gordon. “She must have gotten that from…   read more

Review: Casa’s Santa Claus: The Musical

You might not have had time yet to deck the halls or go wassailing or perform some other vague Christmasism, but surely you’ve noticed that Thanksgiving, our culture’s speed bump on the road to Santa, seems tiny in the rearview. So pack up the sleigh with a sugarplum or two, and prance on down to…   read more

Spoon-ing Is No Fun

I think it’s hilarious how toddlers think they control their dominion. Or think that they should. I mean, talk about DRAMA when Thing Two can’t quite get the tip of the bottle inserted into Baby’s mouth — we’re talking epic. Or when she’s having trouble finding the precise corner of her deteriorating blanket to suck…   read more

A Real Baby’s Baby

Sometimes I think Thing Two believes I am incompetent. She already has the most beautiful little face with the most beautiful arched eyebrows, and boy howdy, do they arch. She gives me these looks that say, “Are you sure that’s the best way to crack an egg? Is there a reason for that particular headband?…   read more