Maybe you’re like me. Maybe every day in some way you feel like a newly fallen turnip. A rookie. A beginner. A little wet behind the ears. When I had a baby, I glanced over my shoulder to discover regurgitated breast milk dripping down my back. That’s when everything — not just motherhood — seemed a little more important. A little more up in a ponytail. A little more up in the air.

Posts Tagged "Thing One"

Hello, My Name Is (sort of complicated)

I drove my little self over to the neighborhood elementary school today and wrote Drew’s name down on a sheet of paper. The paper said, “I want my boy to be in Kindergarten here,” but with a lot more words, and then with the Spanish translation of the words. I wrote his name down approximately…   read more

First Things First: Drew Turns 5

On the eve of Thing One’s 5th birthday, I am reflective. I’m thinking back to the moment at 9:06 a.m. on January 18, 2007, when, alone and shaking in the bathroom, I discovered that I would be a mother. I told no one, not even Gordon. The day was chilly and rainy; a cold shock…   read more

Leaving The Things: Italy

When you read this, I will be in Italy. It sounds so strange to say, “I will be in Italy” because I’ve never said “I will be on the moon” before and yet, they both feel like the same thing. My in-laws (God love-em) are keeping Both Things for the 10 days we are gone,…   read more

My Little Anti-Dentite

Drew is already asking for birthday presents, and his most recent request is “a yittle cooler yike Wall E’s.” If you’ve seen the Disney movie “Wall E” you might remember how at the beginning, a solitary robot meanders through mile-high stacks of carefully molded garbage bricks, scraping trash into the middle of his “body” or…   read more

A Close Shave

Sometimes I feel so wrapped up in Drew’s psychology, moods, preferences, needs and exclamations, that it’s almost like he is my one and only child and Madeline is more of a pet schnauzer. Sure, she might wail and stomp her itsy bitsy feet or give me an eternal, transcendent look, but her general presence feels…   read more

Let’s Go to the Movies. Kinda Sorta.

On Monday, the staff of the church where I work took a “family movie day” at Hollywood Theater down the street. Drew has only had one movie-going experience (“Cars 2”) which was only a success because we found our seats so early that all the lights were on and the cleaning crew was still sweeping…   read more

Thunder Itself

I was surprised to learn that summer doesn’t really begin until June 20. Isn’t that Halloween? With the weather heating up to hell-worthiness and the mosquitoes out for my children’s blood, I think summer really began this weekend. And with it came some fantastic thunderstorms. If there is anything Thing One is more afraid of…   read more

Urine Trouble, Mister

I’ve been trying to pinpoint why I have been in such a bad mood all week. Granted, there’s the matter of the Womanly Shadow that has been cast, and the fact that Drew has been sick, and the fact that one of my best friends is going through something terrible, and life has just…gotten under…   read more

3 Books for Your 4-Year-Old

BORING, right? Right. Who cares what your preschooler reads? Not me. Nope. I’ve got enough problems of my own, like how to not look so unattractive every Wednesday. Why are the stars so out of alignment regarding my hair and apparel choices on that day? Why must hump day always equal frump day? These are…   read more

Knock On Porcelain: He’s Trained!

Well, folks, it looks like I have a potty-trained child. Aren’t you thrilled? If you read this blog regularly, you are, because this means you will now get to enjoy a vast array of new topics related to world affairs, recipe mishaps, and celebrity speculation, instead of all things poop and poopy pants and pedestrian…   read more