I’ve been trying to pinpoint why I have been in such a bad mood all week. Granted, there’s the matter of the Womanly Shadow that has been cast, and the fact that Drew has been sick, and the fact that one of my best friends is going through something terrible, and life has just…gotten under…   read more

It’s terrific! It’s radiant! It’s Some Show. For anyone who didn’t grow up watching the classic movie or reading the classic E.B. White novel, here’s the runt-down (pun intended): A little piglet is born onto the Arable farm is saved from the chopping block by eight-year-old Fern who lovingly names him Wilbur. Wilbur begins to…   read more

I was minding my business one night when I heard someone talking to himself upstairs. It was Drew. I shut the music off on my computer and closed my eyes to listen. “Santa is a good guy. He not have to hug you. He goes away.” My son, without any professional instruction, had discovered the…   read more

Once, and I’m not particularly proud of this, Gordon and I went as Adam and Eve to a corporate Halloween party in downtown Fort Worth. Our costume looked something like this: I don’t know whose idea this costume was, and my most distinct memory is how far below his actual nipples Gordon’s painted-on-polyester nipples were….   read more

A couple of weeks ago, my hairdresser broke up with me. I had been trying to find a way to end it myself, but she made it easy. It was the conclusion of a seven-year relationship, a relationship that was full of tenderness, sympathy, understanding – everything but monogrammed bath towels. We didn’t have the…   read more

Sometimes medical professionals have a hard time diagnosing me. It’s not that I’m made of steel or that I am from the planet Tatween; it’s that I’m somewhat of a hypochondriac plus there was that time I drank the tiger blood. My heart arrhythmia from college was first thought to be caffeine-related, then due to…   read more

In his book The Talent Code, author Daniel Coyle reiterates an idea I’ve heard before in discussions of skill development: that any expert in a particular field has repeated their skill, “practiced,” at least 10,000 times. 10,000. It’s the magic number, provided you are practicing well. My voice teacher introduced me to this concept. He…   read more

You may think I’m prone to exaggeration, but I’m going to go ahead and prop up my stereotype by saying that after this weekend, I’m convinced there is no more tortured soul than my Thing One. Drew has the market cornered on preschool-variety angst. We Might Have Provoked It. OK, we probably did. Actually, there’s…   read more

In a moment of reckless hubris, I announced to the world that Drew would be potty trained by July 7, 2011. In retrospect it was a little reminiscent of Harold Camping, the end-of-the-world prophet who predicted the apocalypse last month. Who was I to say the end of diapers is near? Gordon pulled out his…   read more

Drew loves watching the Veggie Tales Jonah movie, and I love it because it tells the biblical account in a fun way for kids and adults alike. For instance, Jonah’s camel wears a tiny monacle, which just kills me. And instead of rampant sodomy, the Ninevites are guilty of slapping of one another randomly with…   read more