Maybe you’re like me. Maybe every day in some way you feel like a newly fallen turnip. A rookie. A beginner. A little wet behind the ears. When I had a baby, I glanced over my shoulder to discover regurgitated breast milk dripping down my back. That’s when everything — not just motherhood — seemed a little more important. A little more up in a ponytail. A little more up in the air.

Posts Tagged "poop"

License to Pee: A Potty-Training Breakthrough

I write two blog entries a week and sometimes that gets to be a lot. Not that I don’t like writing. I love writing. It’s just the sitting down to, well, write that gets to me. So I put it off, sometimes until 9 p.m. the night before. Which can really pay off. A lot…   read more

Plane Truth: Infant Interrogation, Thing One Barf and the Twist at The End

I got a lot of great advice from you about our plane trip this week. Good tidbits about things to bring to do, eat and avoid — also good stuff on narcotics and other self-medication that might be necessary. All insightful, like you had been to ‘Nam and back. I took most of your advice…   read more

Cold-Turkey: My Angst-y Approach to Potty Training

In a moment of reckless hubris, I announced to the world that Drew would be potty trained by July 7, 2011. In retrospect it was a little reminiscent of Harold Camping, the end-of-the-world prophet who predicted the apocalypse last month. Who was I to say the end of diapers is near? Gordon pulled out his…   read more

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to Some Pork Medallions

Act I: “See you at nine,” said Gordon, grabbing his keys and heading for the door. He was going to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) Monday night, as usual. I was late making dinner and was just firing up the wok; he would have to eat when he got back. “Are you sure you shouldn’t call…   read more

Stupidity, Poop, and Maple Syrup Urine Disease

“Clogs! It’s got clogs in it!” This incoherent specimen of verbal ballyhoo is what (I believe) I said to Gordon at approximately 3:42 a.m. on Monday morning. I was changing Thing Two’s diaper in her dimly lit room, and the very moment I got her diaper off, she shot a bowel movement across the room….   read more