Maybe you’re like me. Maybe every day in some way you feel like a newly fallen turnip. A rookie. A beginner. A little wet behind the ears. When I had a baby, I glanced over my shoulder to discover regurgitated breast milk dripping down my back. That’s when everything — not just motherhood — seemed a little more important. A little more up in a ponytail. A little more up in the air.

Posts Tagged "Madeline"

My Bad Bug

May 2015 Yesterday, my four-year-old daughter Madeline was asking about sin. This is because she is exceptionally bright, spiritually advanced, and concerned with acquiring justice for her brother who had been ignoring her. “Is sin like a bad bug in your body?” she asked. Except she said, “ ‘YIKE’ a bad bug,” because she cannot…   read more

She’s Three. Help. Me.

Tonight Madeline snuggled with me on the couch 45 minutes after dinner. Still wearing her princess dress and fresh off a crying jag caused by a run-in with Drew, she was done with the day. So was I. After a 12-hour drive home the day before from Colorado, I was still feeling fuzzy, disembodied and…   read more

Princess and the Potty

Yesterday I received news you dream of hearing. It wasn’t that I had won the lottery, or that I had become fully hydrated without having to drink water, or that John Krasinski had become my fan on Facebook. It was that Madeline had gone pee-pee in the potty at preschool. It’s a first. For weeks,…   read more

Waiting on the Couch (Chatter Letter from the Editor, May)

There are few things in life more sobering than waiting with a child who is about to vomit. I have been to funerals, ill-advised weddings, under-rehearsed school productions, and awkward Sunday brunches, but all of those pale in comparison to the dread-filled silence before your baby “yawns in technicolor.” I held vigil for four days…   read more

Knee-Deep in Bloody Bonding

The worst thing Madeline can imagine in the entire universe, and then beyond to the universes outside of our known universe, and then on into oblivion, is hurting her knee. She hurt it once. Both knees, really. Fell BAM on the concrete driveway like a linebacker lunging (and missing) his target. The cold SLAP of…   read more

Do Zen and Pediatric Dentistry Go Together? A tale of Awestruck Angst.

If you were to tell me the activities on today’s agenda a week ago, I would have thought that Satan and his worst demons had collaborated on the itinerary. Dentist. Mall. Chuck-E-Cheese. Gordon leaving me at home with Both Things for a two-day conference. Laundry. Even just the first item, Dentist, would have been enough…   read more

2013: A Quiet Itinerary

As I look ahead to 2013, or, to the remaining 361 days of it, I’m a little nervous. This is the first year in a long time where I haven’t been expecting a baby or planning a big vacation, a move, or a coup d’etat. Sure, there might be a show or two, there might…   read more

What’s in A (Nick) Name? I Shudder to Think…

There was a time when I thought nicknames were limited to “Honey,” “Darlin’” (no g, ever), and “Sugar.” Those were the ones I heard my grandparents use the most, and it was sort of lovely to be lumped in with all the other Darlin’s in the family — that no matter who you were, you…   read more

My Kids Belong on “Downton Abbey.”

It might just be that I am obsessed with “Downton Abbey,” but I really think Drew is developing into a British aristocrat. First, he has begun speaking in the third person. “Drew would yike a cup of yemonade, Mr. Mommy; Drew is scared; Drew went to the yittle park yesterday.” His speech therapist says he…   read more

Whine And Beer

Even a whole month after returning from Italy, Drew will whisper to me, “Mister Mommy, I missed you so much in Italy.” He says this at night when Gordon is reading to Madeline as I recline on the floor of her room. Drew sprawls out across my chest, pinching the loose skin on my slack…   read more