Drew has started implementing safety standards for his own obedience. If he is about to spill his milk, again, on purpose, and he knows it — he can feel the drumbeat of compulsion rushing through his veins — he hands me his glass and says, “Here, Mommy, I gonna spill dis.” Even if it has…   read more

I have been living a double life. For a week, I have left my children in the care of others in order to stab bobby pins through curls of hair, one after another, creating an auburn hat of monkey bread, and sucking the configuration up into a tight black wig cap. After this, a lady…   read more

Today we passed a police car and Drew informed me he would “yike” to drive it one day. I explained he would have to become a police officer first, and he paused for a moment before replying, “Yes, I will be that.” Police Officer is about the 39th profession Drew has agreed to adopt in…   read more

I was dropping Drew off at preschool last Friday when his teacher, who was in the middle of unbuckling him from his car seat, asked, “Are you having another baby?” I misinterpreted her question as, “Are you pregnant?” to which I quickly said, “Oh no, no, no,” as if she was inquiring into a very…   read more

One of the only unfortunate side effects to taking voice lessons over a period of time is that your yelling gets really loud. Have you ever been in a dream where you wanted to scream above the surface of the water or above the mountain you’re trapped on or above the head of your attacker,…   read more

Drew’s new favorite book is Drummer Boy, a retelling of the Little Drummer Boy Christmas story. A little late for Christmas, I admit, but Drew tends to circle his books like big game stalking its prey — for weeks and weeks — before he comes in for the kill. Then it’s a lights-out marathon of…   read more

Drew has become obsessed with the cracks in the floor at Esperanza’s. Esperanza’s is our family’s favorite Mexican food dive, and I’ve considered sending Drew there to work in exchange for enchiladas, much like the boy Samuel who served in the Temple. Last week he noticed a corner where the tile seems to have been…   read more

(Preview: January Chatter Letter from the Editor) Well, it’s 2012. The end of the world as we know it. Though I am optimistic the feral cats in our neighborhood will survive anything the Mayans can throw at them. It’s funny how at the beginning of 2012, we’re thinking about the end of civilization. Or maybe…   read more

I was minding my business one night when I heard someone talking to himself upstairs. It was Drew. I shut the music off on my computer and closed my eyes to listen. “Santa is a good guy. He not have to hug you. He goes away.” My son, without any professional instruction, had discovered the…   read more

I once knew a girl in college who thought everything was Amazing. That Thai food restaurant is Amazing; the way the sunlight filters through the trees is unbelievably Amazing; the 90s fad of wearing braided belts over a knit top and broomstick skirt — A-to-the-mazing. The enduring image I have of “Jane” is when she…   read more