I once knew a girl in college who thought everything was Amazing. That Thai food restaurant is Amazing; the way the sunlight filters through the trees is unbelievably Amazing; the 90s fad of wearing braided belts over a knit top and broomstick skirt — A-to-the-mazing. The enduring image I have of “Jane” is when she…   read more

Drew is now four. We had a “Cars 2” birthday party for him on Saturday in our backyard, and the best part is still up for debate: the guacamole, bounce house, or the hilarious way Drew said YIGHTNING MCQUEEN. HEY MOMMY, YOOK! says Drew. IT’S YIGHTING! YIGHTNING MCQUEEN! We tried to get Drew to dress…   read more

Most mothers will tell you they hate it when their babies cry. Then again, most mothers are the type who buy Snuggies, so do with that what you will. I don’t hate the first (FEW) moments of an outburst at all, in fact — and this is just between you and me — there’s a…   read more

I got a lot of great advice from you about our plane trip this week. Good tidbits about things to bring to do, eat and avoid — also good stuff on narcotics and other self-medication that might be necessary. All insightful, like you had been to ‘Nam and back. I took most of your advice…   read more

I apparently look like a woman who wants a boob job. Not a woman needing a boob job. Wanting one. I was at the gyno’s office this week for your favorite thing and mine, the pap smear. The baby doctor’s office is an elite club where to feel like a VIP you have to be…   read more

Drew loves watching the Veggie Tales Jonah movie, and I love it because it tells the biblical account in a fun way for kids and adults alike. For instance, Jonah’s camel wears a tiny monacle, which just kills me. And instead of rampant sodomy, the Ninevites are guilty of slapping of one another randomly with…   read more

I knew there would be consequences. When you quit breastfeeding, the primordial gods of mammaries visit hexes upon you. For one thing, I’m stupider this week. If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you know I forgot about Drew’s first-ever soccer practice like it was an episode of Jim Lehrer, despite the fact I…   read more

In international news this week, which includes Lady Gaga’s infamous meat purse, my baby boy turned three years old. Wait, was the meat purse last week? Haven’t been at the gym and am behind on my tabloids. Not only is Drew three — which sounds ancient and wizened — but Madeline was TWO MONTHS OLD…   read more