Maybe you’re like me. Maybe every day in some way you feel like a newly fallen turnip. A rookie. A beginner. A little wet behind the ears. When I had a baby, I glanced over my shoulder to discover regurgitated breast milk dripping down my back. That’s when everything — not just motherhood — seemed a little more important. A little more up in a ponytail. A little more up in the air.

Posts Tagged "celebrities"

My Kids Belong on “Downton Abbey.”

It might just be that I am obsessed with “Downton Abbey,” but I really think Drew is developing into a British aristocrat. First, he has begun speaking in the third person. “Drew would yike a cup of yemonade, Mr. Mommy; Drew is scared; Drew went to the yittle park yesterday.” His speech therapist says he…   read more

Meeting Kristin Chenoweth: A Memoir

Sometimes you just have to sigh. On Saturday, I met one of my all-time idols, Kristin Chenoweth. With her chipmunk voice, springy body and Barbie blonde locks, she was everything I’ve always thought her to be. I also learned that I am a Shrek-ish ogre, or at least that was my impression standing there with…   read more

Being to Do

(Chatter Letter from the Editor: July). I have a hard time relaxing. Maybe it’s all that pent-up angst about the season finale of “Smash,” or my steady Diet Coke drip. It could be that I have not taken a weeklong vacation in eight years (does your honeymoon really count?), or that the grime on my…   read more

Planes, Trains, and Auto-Avarice

Watching the Oscars on Sunday night was enlightening. It illuminated a lot of vast and abstract concepts, like what grade of Plaster of Paris Angelina’s upper-upper thigh consists of. And how bizarre — and red — Nick Nolte has become. Between smearing vanilla ice cream on the play table and yelling into pillows, Drew and…   read more

You’re More Like Kramer Than You Think. (Chatter letter from the Editor, Nov.)

If there’s any iconic character in American TV that epitomizes boundless energy, it’s Cosmo Kramer from Seinfeld. Peter Goddard of The Toronto Star has observed, “[Kramer’s personality] is hard to pin down. A New York Times profile described Kramer as ‘cartoonlike’ in a piece with a headline calling him ‘Seinfeld’s craziest neighbor’…But he’s more than…   read more

“Dear Ndugu…”

In 2003, Jack Nicholson was nominated for an Academy Award for his title role in About Schmidt, a movie about Warren Schmidt, the haggard Nebraska retiree struggling to make sense of life after the sudden death of his wife. In the midst of adjusting to his new reality, Schmidt sees a television commercial asking for…   read more

Swimsuit Shopping with Trina, Betsey and Me: A History

Before you turn 30, swimsuit shopping can only have one of two possible effects: 1. Deep shame, self-flagellation and compulsive queso consumption. Or 2. Self-worship and quiet happy dances behind the dressing room curtain. There is no in-between. Swimsuits divide the heart, joints and marrow, revealing your true essence. Kind of like the Bible. Have…   read more

3 Things Sex Teaches Us About Sex

Sex. Sex. Sex. There, do I have your attention? Or am I competing with reruns of Entourage in the background? I realize my blog a couple of weeks ago about the placenta brooch might have been a turn-off for my male readers (I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t want to grab a cosmo and dish…   read more

Willy and Kathy and Their Bling

(Chatter letter from the editor, May 2011) But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5 Prince William and Catherine Middleton just got married, by the way. Just in case you have been…   read more

What the Rangers Can Teach a New Mommy

Texas and San Francisco are tied, 2-2, bottom of the third. This is where we begin this blog. I am sitting on my couch on Wednesday night watching the first game of the World Series. Under normal circumstances, you are very unlikely to find me sitting at home watching baseball on TV of my own…   read more